12/10/2006 San Francisco. "The Dakota"

Gut Morgen mein Kinder und der juden,

yesterday, my last in Los Angeles was a blast. The previous night I attended the open mike session at the hostel. In a way it was great, $1 beers...excellent. Hostels are filled by a certain type of person. Usually young(20-35), gregarious, artistic, adventurous hippy types (at least urban types with a hippy philosophy and asthetic). You know the type, happy, left-wing dorks. As most of you would have guessed, exactly the type of person that turns my stomach. Not really that bad but i found myself a bit on the outer with this mob. No-one really tried to engage me in conversation. I tried to be friendly to a couple of people but it seemed too hard so, I kept pretty much to myself. The people who ran the place were cool but the derro's staying there were another story. At the open mike thing, they had singers and one guy did a spoken word thing. I nearly vomited but, I kept an open mind. A couple were, in truth, quite good. Particularly this one kid playing slide guitar. Too much personality, good looks and talent for his own good. I hated him. There was this one gorgeous girl who was a great singer but she wore a captains hat (like yours,Dean), so she was immediately dismissed as an idiot. Also, I caught her listening to one of the performers, swaying her head with her eyes closed....sickening. So, yesterday I went to Knotts Berry Farm and rode some of the craziest Rollercoasters and thrill rides you could imagine. The Ghostrider: a huge wooden trad rollercoaster about three times the size of the big dipper. That was the first thing I went on... I sat in the front and I nearly shit my pants. But once the horror subsided, I just laughed. It was so much fun. Then I took the Silver Bullet. You hang on this thing, so the rail is above you. This was fast and took loops all over the place. Once again, I almost soiled myself, especially when it got to the top of the first dip and the floor fell away and all there was under my feet was a hundred foot drop. Insane but lots of fun. Then there was the Super Scream (or something like that) This was sitting in a seat with legs dangling, hoisted up the outside of a tower 200 feet in thge air and then dropped. My friends, when I got to the top of this thing, it looked so high I had some very dark thoughts. Not too many though, within seconds I was dropping at an alarming rate and laughing my old head off. Great stuff. I've saved the best for last though. The Excelerator. This thing lasts just over a minute and had my sphincter so tight I couldn;t have pulled a pin out of my arse with a tractor. You sit in a typical rollercoaster car and are the propelled to 82 mph (that's MILES per hour!) in 2 seconds before a vertical (not nearly vertical...VERTICAL) climb of probably 150 feet, then a vertical drop and into some ridiculous twists before a sudden stop. When this thing took off, I just had time to realise I had made an awful mistake. But then I just laughed insanely for the rest of the ride. It was just too much fun. I did these rides (and a few more) twice, as I had all day to do it. A great day. By the time I got home it was 9:30 so I didn't bother with dinner. Just had a packet of chips and watched the fights on TV. (first time I saw aussie/ armenian, Vic Darchinyan fight). I slept badly due to the dipshits at the hostel coming out of the comedy night pissed and yabbering in the hallway at 2am...proto-hippy bastards. This morning I got up, packed up and said goodbye to Hollywood and Kumbaya to the USA Hostel. This brings me to San Francisco and that, my friends is a tale for the next installment of....The Dobric Story. As always, blessings, M.